June 6, 2012
In theatre, callbacks are a good thing. They’re director-speak for “I like you; show me more.” This callback? Not so much. But, hey, at least I remembered my water bottle this time!
I was first today. I like being first. Which is funny. At auditions, I hate being first. I like second at auditions. Let someone else break the tension, and then let me get it over with. But here, here I like being first. Because if the director is holding private auditions, then it doesn’t matter who breaks the tension. It’s just him and me.
And, ouch!, might I add. There’s nothing quite like having a transvaginal ultrasound probe jabbed in your ovaries. Fellows, if you’ve ever been kicked in the balls, you know what I’m talking about.
It’s still there. It’s still the same size. It’s definitely a cyst. But yesterday’s googling fest tells me that, despite the doctor being both concerned and baffled, these are pretty normal and typically last four-to-six weeks. So if it was new at my first ultrasound back in May, it makes sense that it would still be here today.
And, joy of joys, he wants me to come back on Monday for an “ultrasound and consultation”. I’m thinking this isn’t going to be nearly as easy as my midwife told me it would be.
I did take today off, though, so I didn’t have to go to work and be around people being nice to me. I’m still not ready for that. Instead I took my laptop and walked up the street to K’s library, found a quiet spot, and wrote for a while.
On a side note, whatever happened to study carrels? I was so looking forward to secluding myself in a study carrel! I mean, the remodel is lovely, it really is, but my favorite study carrel from when I was in high school is now a table. They’re all just tables. Okay, so I did find some desks that are kind of built into the windows overlooking the main level, and if I ever go back to write some more, I’m totally snagging one of them, but that was it. College clearly has changed since I graduated in 2000. Makes me want to go back to check out what my alma mater’s done to our library. I wonder if we still have study carrels…
Yes, yes I do think too much. Why do you ask?
All in all, today wasn’t nearly as bad as Monday. He still has dreadful bedside manner, but I’ve had time to breathe and think and research. Pretty sure he’s already forgotten I work for a med school, soon to really and truly be a med school. (KCMS is only a little bit MSU. July 1 we become WMU School of Medicine. So, yeah, let’s just add one more stressor to my life.) It’s not like I’m reading Wikipedia when I research online. PubMed, anyone?
So now I just have to keep breathing until next Monday. Everything will be fine. It has to be.