November 3, 2012
I thought about calling this post “Good News”, but I was afraid you’d get all excited by that and forget that it’s only been a week since the insemination. (Yes, I agree. It totally has been seven years.) It’s not an imaginative title, I know, but there you have it. The good news is that I’ve lost more than ten pounds since the doc told me I should weigh more than twenty pounds less than I really should weigh. True, I’m not a nervous eater. I’m quite the opposite of a nervous eater. That makes it easier to lose weight. Not the ideal way, but easier.
Next Friday still seems like an incredibly long way away. I can see why women band together on the various fertility forums. There are posts asking if anyone else is starting their two-week wait, asking if anyone is going to be waiting with them. I know it’s the nerves that are making me lose any and all concentration at work. I should have been creating and sending annual renewals this week. I should have done the same with annual contracts for the regional hospitals where we provide CME credit. I should be working on the application for social work continuing education credits for my big April conference. (Yes, now. It needs to be submitted 45 days before I finalize the brochure in order to guarantee we receive our approval in time. That’s better than my department. We have a 90-day deadline. Fortunately, I don’t have to apply to myself to give my conference credit. I just need to make sure that everything’s in the file.) And instead, I’m staring at my computer.
But today is Saturday. And it’s the first Saturday of NaNoWriMo. And I should have spent the day doing something productive. At the very least, I should have spent the day trying to write 5,000 words in order to give myself a good head start. But I didn’t. I confess that I spent most of the day watching mindless television on Hulu. Except, of course, for when I was watching educational television on PBS’s website. (Does Upstairs Downstairs count as educational? It must. I mean, it is on PBS after all.) I’m discovering that, while I can still knock out 1,667 words in a couple of hours, writing 3,000 or 4,000 words in a day on this blog is much more difficult than it is to write that much of a novel. For one thing, I can’t completely turn off my inner editor with this project. Sure, I’m double-checking my posts before they go up, but not that carefully. But more than that, it’s too intense. I seriously had every intention of passing 10,000 words this weekend. In previous NaNos, I’ve had no problem getting that far ahead in the first weekend. That clearly is not going to happen this time. I can only put myself in this world for so long before I need to set it aside and think about something else. I suppose if I hadn’t put some of these posts off for so long, that wouldn’t be an issue, but I did, so it is.
What’s been interesting these past few days is to see how many more hits my blog has been getting now that I’m actually posting things to it. Anything to distract me, right? Both from the interminable two-week wait and from having to actually write! On the NaNoWriMo website, they posted a video about the different types of WriMos. I couldn’t decide if I was a planner or a procrastinator. I think that’s because I’m a cross-breed. I have gone into many a NaNo knowing vast quantities of what I’m going to write. And then I spend my time checking Facebook or my email or playing solitaire. Yes, I have been known to spend four or five hours on a Saturday working on my NaNo novel. But most of that time isn’t actually spent writing.
Ah well. This post has become quite rambling. I wasn’t planning to go off on a tangent like that. It really was just going to be about having lost weight. But that’s what happens during NaNo. Lots of stream of consciousness to increase the word count. I feel that this post requires a sign-off or else it might never end.