Some Things I Forgot

November 12, 2012

I swear that it’s not pregnancy brain. It’s really prenatal vitamin brain. That’s got to explain it. And if not, then it’s vicarious pregnancy brain. Let’s see… Nancy is pregnant. I’ve caught pregnancy brain from her! (I can’t blame Courtney anymore. She had the baby two weeks ago.)

Anyway, there are some things that I forgot to mention in previous posts. (I know what you’re thinking. “Beth,” you’re thinking, “if you’re not going to post these until three months later anyway, then why don’t you just edit the posts in which this information belongs?” And you’re right. I could do that. But if the things I forgot had fit into the flow of the original posts, then I probably wouldn’t have forgotten to mention them. And besides, it’s still NaNoWriMo. This makes them add up to more words. Some people may call this cheating. I call it using my available assets.)

Thing #1: Remember how Carla suggested that if I waited until today to get my blood test, my period might start over the weekend and then we’d know I wasn’t pregnant and I wouldn’t have to deal with the needle? I swear she jinxed me. My period wasn’t supposed to start until today or tomorrow. It started on Saturday. (Okay, Sunday by the clinic’s count, but it was really Saturday.) Since I have an appointment tomorrow, I don’t feel the need to call them. It’s not going to make a difference at this stage.

Thing #2: One of the things Deborah Tannen writes about in You’re Wearing That?: Understanding Mothers and Daughters in Conversation is that mothers are frequently the clearinghouse for family communications. Daughter talks to mom; mom shares that information with dad. And, honestly, this is fairly true in my family. This is not to say that my brother and I don’t talk to our dad. We just talk to him about different things than we talk to our mom about (or than we talk to each other about, for that matter). Now, for the most part, my family has a pretty good relationship, so there isn’t much of a filter. Unless we specifically say, “don’t tell X”, communication is open. How did I learn that Cathy died on Friday? My mom got the news from my brother and passed it along to me. But, of course, this does mean that there still is a filter. And because my mom is the one who’s been going with me to my appointments in Grand Rapids, my dad has been getting most of the information through her, which is fine, but not the same as hearing it from me. So while we were driving down I-94 on Saturday, he asked. I told him that I’ll definitely try one cycle with the FSH, and that the rest depends on cost and insurance. And then he asked the question that no one else in my family has asked me yet (although it is something I’ve talked about albeit vaguely with friends). He asked, “If this doesn’t work, in three or four years, if a three-year-old or five-year-old were available for adoption, would you consider that?” And the answer is that I absolutely would consider that. If I do get pregnant and have a baby and someday decide that child needs a sibling, I’d adopt. If I were married and my husband and I decided we wanted a second child, I’d push for us to adopt. And (back to Tannen’s theory of mom-as-clearinghouse) my mom tells me that my dad feels much more comfortable (not that he was uncomfortable before but it’s still the best word) with the current state of things.

Thing #3: As promised, I did email Jenny on Friday to tell her that I’m not pregnant. And I added in parentheses about Cathy. She emailed back to say that she was sorry, and didn’t that put things in perspective. And what I love about Jenny is that she’s so grounded. Whereas so many of my friends are all sunshine and rainbows (of course you’re going to get pregnant this month!), Jenny is incredibly practical. She went on to say that she thinks I’m supposed to have a September baby, so I’m not going to get pregnant in November. It will be another month. (Okay, I know that doesn’t sound practical, but I think you get what I mean. Circumspect might have been a better choice of words.)

And now that you read the things I forgot, I think you’ll agree with me that they really didn’t fit in the posts for the days on which they happened. Okay, maybe Thing #1 would have, but other than that.

And now I must digress. The work newsletter after Halloween had the usual photo spread of Halloween costumes. I’m not sure which department did this (maybe Peds), but they dressed as the Cat in the Hat and Thing 1, Thing 2, Thing 3, Thing 4, etc. And, yes, each “Thing” had a different number. Brilliant! My favorite work Halloween costume is still this: One of my colleagues was undergoing chemo. She was Uncle Fester. (She was a remarkably good Uncle Fester, too.) It was both a fantastic costume and incredibly inspiring. And that was when several people at work learned she had cancer. My boss thought she’d shaved her head because she was just that committed to the costume. I said then, and I’ll say it again, I hope I can have that much chutzpah should it ever be required.

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