Today I Feel…

November 26, 2013

I’m sad today.  I’m not sure exactly why.  But I am.

Maybe it’s because I spent much of today staring at my to-do list.  I did work a little.  But I think I spent most of my day just staring because I was sad, not the other way around.

Maybe it’s because it was about a year ago that Jon fell off the roof and broke his back.  He’s doing pretty well, in the whole scheme of things.  People are helping raise money so that he can buy an awesome wheelchair that, if you A) saw it and B) knew Jon, you would agree screams him.  And he’s got a pretty decent sense of humor about everything.  But maybe the anniversary is just adding an aura.

Maybe it’s because I woke up at 3:30 this morning and didn’t fall back asleep until almost 5 and then my alarm went off at 5:45.  So I’m tired.  And that definitely doesn’t help.

Maybe it’s because it’s almost Thanksgiving.  And as much as I love Thanksgiving, as much as I doubt it will ever stop being my favorite holiday, this was supposed to be Sofia’s first Thanksgiving.  This was supposed to be the year I started sharing my favorite holiday with my daughter.  And so as much as I love Thanksgiving, as much as it is my favorite holiday, as much as I’m looking forward to seeing my brother and sister-in-law and my nieces and my cousins and meeting my cousin’s girlfriend, and sharing this holiday that I love so much with my cousin’s friend’s cancer-afflicted little girl…  It’s not what it was supposed to be.

So today… Today I’m sad.

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