December 8, 2013
I honestly didn’t know what day it was when I woke up this morning. I knew it wasn’t Saturday because I knew I’d already done Saturday. So it must have been Monday. Took me a minute or two to remember there was a whole day in between Saturday and Monday. An even happier moment was when I remembered that I have tomorrow (which will actually be Monday) off. I’m being mature tomorrow. I’m getting baseline blood work and a baseline mammogram done. This way I’ll have the results before my next annual (in February). And this also means that if I do get pregnant again, it will all be taken care of before that happens.
So I’ve spent most of today reminding myself of two things:
- Remember to fast before tomorrow’s blood work.
- Don’t put deodorant on at bedtime tonight. Or tomorrow morning.
I’m kind of nervous, so there’s a knot in my stomach, which is making number 1 easy. I just have to keep reminding myself about number 2. Maybe I will go ahead and put a note on my deodorant so that I don’t accidentally put it on.
But really, other than thinking it was already Monday, today has been okay. My tree is up and lit. I bought two more strands of lights this year. I almost have enough lights for it. I’ll buy at least one more strand next year (two if they’re on sale when I’m buying), and that should be about the right number for my tree. At least until I decide to spend more time wrapping it than I already do. I didn’t get the ornaments on it, but I’ll have some time to kill tomorrow morning before my appointment. (I want to get there around 8:30 which is almost two hours later than I normally get to work.) And I have the whole afternoon free.
And then I knit. I’ve got a deadline for some Christmas presents, so I’m trying to stay focused. I’ve been binge-watching The Amazing Race as I knit. It’s just right at the moment. Interesting enough to keep me entertained, but not something I really care that much about. Plus I like to imagine it as a drinking game whenever they’re traveling around Europe. A shot for each place I’ve been. Except for the drinking part. Imaginary shots for each place I’ve been. I am very proud of myself for working on the Christmas presents just when the sweater I’m knitting for myself (and which my work wardrobe desperately needs) has gotten interesting.
One day at a time. One breath at a time. One moment at a time. I don’t spend every waking moment thinking about Sofia, but I do still feel guilty for that. But maybe not quite as guilty as I did a month ago. It’s getting better. Slowly. But it is getting better.