What I’m Not Doing Today

December 26, 2013

There’s a CYT reunion today.  (That’s the Civic Youth Theatre to those of you who are uninitiated.)  I’m not going.  I wanted to go.  At first.  I really did.  Most of my friends growing up were either from CYT or KAMSC.  Or both.  There was a lot of overlap.  But I have spent vast quantities of today feeling incredibly stressed.  And I think the reunion is a big part of that emotion.  The group is the wrong size and composed of the wrong people.  Which sounds horrible because that’s not really what I mean.  They are lovely people.  But they aren’t the right people.

You see, most of us started doing CYT when we were in the fourth grade and continued until we graduated from high school.  So when you’re nine, you’re a little kid who looks up to the big kids who are in high school.  And then after a few years, you become one of the big kids whom the little kids look up to.  Most of the people who’ve said they’re going?  Yeah, they’d be the big kids.  I know them, but they weren’t in my CYT “class”.  They weren’t big kids when I was a big kid; they’d all graduated by then.  I’d have been out of my comfort zone if this had been planned for a year ago.  I probably would have gone a year ago, but as you know, things are really different now.  I don’t respond to the stress of being out of my comfort zone that well anymore.

So I’m not going.  And I’m kind of sad about it.  There are people going whom I haven’t seen in years.  But they were my brother’s peers, not mine.  I’ll be happier at home.

The pizza did sound good, though.  I may have to do something about that this weekend…

P.S. Christmas was indeed very nice and quiet.  We did not see Saving Mr Banks.  We watched Clue at my parents’ house instead.  They had never seen it.  This lapse in my daughtering of them has been remedied.  Yes, they thought it was very funny, as they should.  And if you have not seen it… Well, I don’t even know where to begin.  To make a long story short…

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