Always Go to the Funeral, Except…

January 15, 2014

This post has been circulating of late.  And I agree with pretty much everything she says in it.  Yes, you should always go to the funeral.  I was raised pretty much the same way.  There were funerals for great-aunts and great-uncles at which I was the only grand-niecephew there.  But my parents raised me to respect those who have lost a loved one and to show my support by going to the funeral.  I can’t tell you how much I appreciated everyone who came to support me at Sofia’s memorial service.

And therein lies my caveat.  As you know, there were several funerals that followed closely after Sofia’s memorial.  I did not go to them.  In the past I would have, but it was too much.

And it still is.  Courtney’s stepmom passed away last week.  Thursday, in fact.  Remember how sad I was on Thursday?  I think I was feeling that in the ether.  Another thing to compound all of the little things that built up that day.  Her funeral is tomorrow.  I’ve thought long and hard about going.  Courtney is my friend.  I want to be there for her.  But I don’t think I can manage going to the funeral.  I’m having a hard enough time breathing as it is.  And I know she understands why I won’t be there, but I do still feel a bit guilty about it.

So, yes, you should always go to the funeral.  But not if it will be detrimental to your mental health.  Especially if the living people you would be going to support know that you are grieving your own loss.  True friends will understand your absence.

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