March 10, 2014
I had my annual today. And it was good. And not just because Lori is practicing the recommendation that years of clear pap smears mean you don’t have to have one Every Single Year so Woohoo!-No-Speculum!
Remember that godawful meeting to “provide closure” and “discuss my case”? Well, one of the things they said was “if there’s anything we can do, let us know.” I took that, well, not at face value. It’s what people say to be polite, right? They don’t really mean it. Well, Lori told me that they really meant it. She told me she explained to them how much work (and money) it took for me to get pregnant with Sofia. She told me that they’d agreed that it would be perfectly reasonable for them to pay for me to undergo fertility treatment again.
I walked out feeling so… light. I’d been stressing over this. Not just the having to go through it again. The having to pay for all of it again. The having to decide how long I can afford to try. I don’t expect the hospital to pay for months and months of trying. But three cycles? That doesn’t seem like an unreasonable request. Isn’t that the amount that insurance plans frequently cover? (That is, of course, insurance plans that cover fertility treatments.) If I hadn’t gotten pregnant when I did, I would have tried a third time. So three cycles on them, three cycles on me… I just feel so relieved that it’s okay if I don’t get pregnant immediately. That I can afford to do this again.
So now I have to wait a month. I have an appointment with one of the obstetricians. He said he’d be happy to do an IUI, but I need to meet with him first. I’m not dinking around this time. I want to start out with the protocol that helped me conceive Sofia. I don’t know if he’s comfortable prescribing FSH or if he’d prefer to refer me to a fertility clinic. But at least we’re starting to move forward. I’m not stuck anymore. At the very least, I’ve left Limbo for Purgatory. And the beauty of Purgatory is that you don’t stay there forever.