Where the Boys Are

May 5, 2014

Dr O called me today.  He had bad news.  That is to say he had received bad news.  His father died.  He won’t be in town tomorrow for my appointment.  But he had already spoken with another physician.  Let’s call him Dr M.  He had explained my case and current protocol to Dr M.  Dr M is happy to take over this cycle.  But since Dr M doesn’t work at the same location as Dr O, I won’t see him tomorrow.  But I will still do bloodwork (in case Dr M decides he needs to see the results).  And I’ll still have an ultrasound.  Dr O said that Dr M usually just uses the ultrasound results and then an hCG protocol to determine when to perform the IUI.  I had to smile.  Sound familiar?  I’m definitely comfortable with that protocol.  That’s how I got pregnant with Sofia.

Dr O asked how I was doing.

“Okay,” I said.  “A little queasy.”  I may be taking a lower total amount of FSH, but the individual doses are a lot higher.

“Any cramping?”

“A little.  On and off.”

I told him that I’d had a negative OPK this morning.  (That’s when he told me Dr M doesn’t use OPK results.)

“Where are the boys coming?” He was hesitant in asking that question.  I could tell he wasn’t quite sure how to phrase the question.

“I just got the email from International Cryogenics that it’s shipped.  It will arrive on Wednesday,” I replied.  I confirmed that it would be delivered to the clinic and not to me.

He told me that he would have everything set for Dr M since Dr M doesn’t have an office at my location.  He wished me luck.  He said that he hopes the next time he sees me is for an ultrasound to see the heartbeat.

Grief is funny, isn’t it?  His father’s death wasn’t unexpected, but that doesn’t make it easier.  And yet there he was, making sure that I was taken care of, sounding as if he had to be out of town for a meeting and not his father’s funeral.  And I wouldn’t be surprised if the normalcy that was our phone conversation wasn’t exactly what he needed at that moment.

And even if it wasn’t, I don’t think I can ever truly express how grateful I am.  I have been treated, for the most part, with such kindness as I begin this new journey.  I hope that this time the universe chooses to give a life where one was taken.


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