Putting It Out There

June 4, 2014

I’m now trying to be hopeful without getting my hopes up. So far, everything this cycle has gone, well, swimmingly.

This morning, Nicki picked me up and took me to the clinic. While we were in the waiting room, Sr Rose came in. She asked if I was pregnant again. I told her that hopefully I would be after today. She wished me luck.

When we got back to the exam room, Dr O asked if I wanted to see the boys before the IUI. Sr Rose overheard. “They could be girls,” she said. Nicki and I laughed. (After all, that’s exactly what the woman at the sperm bank had said when I told her Dr O called it “the boys”.)

“All right,” he conceded. “The swimmers.”

We all took turns looking at the microscope slide. Yay science!

This time I set a timer for ten minutes. As soon as Dr O had finished the IUI, I started the timer. And Nicki and I waited.

And then I put my pants back on and she brought me home. I was still pretty sore. My ovaries still ached. And I had some cramps. But I’m starting to feel better.

And after a while, I went onto the MyMonthlyCycles Wishing Well. And I put it out there. I made my wish. Please let me get pregnant this time. And please don’t let this baby die.

And tomorrow? Tomorrow is my birthday. And I do as Dr O said and act as though I’m pregnant until proven otherwise. And hopefully I am.

Tomorrow? Tomorrow I do something I haven’t done since I was 39 weeks pregnant with Sofia. Tomorrow I get a massage.

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