April 9, 2015

I had my 6-week follow-up appointment yesterday morning.  Lori was on vacation, and Dr Winter wasn’t available, so I saw Lydia.  (If she hadn’t been available, then I would have had to find a different day.  I was not going to someone new for this!)

When Lydia came in, the first thing she said was that she was so excited to see me on her schedule because she couldn’t wait to give me a hug.  And then, of course, she asked to see pictures.  And then we got around to me.

My incision looks great.  I’m free to exercise as tolerated.  I asked about yoga.  She said that’s perfect.  I should still avoid ab workouts, but core work is good.  Yoga and walking until I can do yoga and brisk walking.  And then I can jog (ha!) or run (ha! ha!) or cycle (ooo! DeskCycle! — which she thought was great).  Not that I’ve had time to do much of either of those things since I asked…  More on that later.

We talked about breastfeeding, or rather Anna’s insistence that we would NOT be doing so.  I said that I’d pumped for about four weeks before giving it up.  “Oh, you can’t do that,” Lydia said.  “There’s no way you can keep up.”  It was nice to have the affirmation that exclusive pumping was not a good option for me.

Madge keeps hanging on, but Lydia said that was normal.  And she might keep leaking for a couple more weeks.  It’s annoying, especially since Dorcas is so completely done with lactating, but at least Madge’s behavior is within the realm of “normal”.

And then she asked about depression.  And she asked if I’d decided to see anyone.  And she asked about my writing; she’d remembered that I’d said that writing was one of my grief coping mechanisms.  I told her about Paula and how we’d been on this journey together.  And I told her about my “sponsor” and how I would email her in the middle of the night and get responses that were a great comfort.  I acknowledged that I still have PTSD.  And Lydia said that was important.  And she said that it’s important to let myself cry when I need to.  And it was all a great reminder of why I didn’t switch practices after Sofia died.

When she left the exam room, I told her that my mom was out in the waiting room with Anna.  Lydia said she was definitely going to take a peek at the baby.

So now I’m all discharged from this pregnancy.  I don’t have to go back to Borgess until my annual next April.

And once Anna finished her bottle, my parents and I got in the car.  I’m now sitting on my bed at my brother’s house in Virginia.  We left from Borgess and drove to just outside of Pittsburgh yesterday.  Today we drove the rest of the way.  I’m beat.  But it’s wonderful to be here.  There are many hands to help take care of Anna.  And tomorrow, I’ll have time (and energy!) to go for a walk and do a bit of yoga.  And I’ll get my afternoon nap in, too.  I’m going to miss my daily siesta when I go back to work.  But that’s not for five more weeks.

Now?  Now I’m on vacation.


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