A Conversation with Madge and Dorcas

I recently had the opportunity to sit down and talk with Madge and Dorcas.  The following is a transcript of our conversation.

Me:  Madge, Dorcas, it’s wonderful to finally have a chance to talk with you.

Dorcas:  Yes, it is.

Madge:  I AM MADGE.

Me:  Yes, we know that.  It’s okay to use your indoor voice.

Madge:  THIS IS MY INDOOR VOICE.

Dorcas:  She’s right.  It is.  Madge is a Valkyrie.  I’m more of a Rhine maiden.

Me:  I see.  We’ve known each other quite a while now.  Must be 25 or 30 years.

Dorcas:  More than that.  Our entire lives.

Me:  (laughs)  True.

Dorcas:  Madge and I were just less prominent for the first years.

Me:  I was saddened a little by the fact that Anna was so distraught by nursing, but you seem to have adjusted all right.

Dorcas:  Well, you go with the flow.

Madge:  I SHALL FEED THE BABY.

Me:  Well, no, Madge, you won’t.  It’s too much work to pump to supplement Anna’s formula with breastmilk.

Madge:  I SHALL SINGLE-HANDEDLY FEED THE BABY.

Dorcas:  She gets like this sometimes.

Madge:  I SHALL FEED ALL THE BABIES.

Me:  I noticed.  I’m guessing that’s why she’s still leaking after five weeks.

Madge:  I SHALL SINGLE-HANDEDLY FEED ALL THE BABIES.

Dorcas:  There’s really no talking with her when she gets like this.

Me:  That’s too bad.

Dorcas:  It is.  But what can you do?  We’re stuck with each other.

Me:  That’s very true.

Dorcas:  I mean, I know you’ve suggested we should lose some weight, but you weren’t planning on doing that anytime soon.

Madge:  I SHALL FEED ALL THE BABIES IN THE WORLD.

Me:  No.  Not anytime soon.

Madge:  I SHALL SINGLE-HANDEDLY FEED ALL THE BABIES IN THE WORLD.

Me:  I can see how this is going.

Dorcas:  (sighs)  Yes.  I’m afraid that’s about all you’re going to get out of her right now.

Me:  Well, Dorcas, it was lovely talking with you.  I promise that as soon as Madge finally gives it up, I’ll stop wearing a bra to bed.

Dorcas:  I’m looking forward to that day.

Me:  Me, too, Dorcas.  Me, too.

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