I recently had the opportunity to sit down and talk with Madge and Dorcas. The following is a transcript of our conversation.
Me: Madge, Dorcas, it’s wonderful to finally have a chance to talk with you.
Dorcas: Yes, it is.
Madge: I AM MADGE.
Me: Yes, we know that. It’s okay to use your indoor voice.
Madge: THIS IS MY INDOOR VOICE.
Dorcas: She’s right. It is. Madge is a Valkyrie. I’m more of a Rhine maiden.
Me: I see. We’ve known each other quite a while now. Must be 25 or 30 years.
Dorcas: More than that. Our entire lives.
Me: (laughs) True.
Dorcas: Madge and I were just less prominent for the first years.
Me: I was saddened a little by the fact that Anna was so distraught by nursing, but you seem to have adjusted all right.
Dorcas: Well, you go with the flow.
Madge: I SHALL FEED THE BABY.
Me: Well, no, Madge, you won’t. It’s too much work to pump to supplement Anna’s formula with breastmilk.
Madge: I SHALL SINGLE-HANDEDLY FEED THE BABY.
Dorcas: She gets like this sometimes.
Madge: I SHALL FEED ALL THE BABIES.
Me: I noticed. I’m guessing that’s why she’s still leaking after five weeks.
Madge: I SHALL SINGLE-HANDEDLY FEED ALL THE BABIES.
Dorcas: There’s really no talking with her when she gets like this.
Me: That’s too bad.
Dorcas: It is. But what can you do? We’re stuck with each other.
Me: That’s very true.
Dorcas: I mean, I know you’ve suggested we should lose some weight, but you weren’t planning on doing that anytime soon.
Madge: I SHALL FEED ALL THE BABIES IN THE WORLD.
Me: No. Not anytime soon.
Madge: I SHALL SINGLE-HANDEDLY FEED ALL THE BABIES IN THE WORLD.
Me: I can see how this is going.
Dorcas: (sighs) Yes. I’m afraid that’s about all you’re going to get out of her right now.
Me: Well, Dorcas, it was lovely talking with you. I promise that as soon as Madge finally gives it up, I’ll stop wearing a bra to bed.
Dorcas: I’m looking forward to that day.
Me: Me, too, Dorcas. Me, too.