There are times that I feel haunted.  

After I drop Anna off, when I’m driving, I still talk to the baby in the carseat behind me.  But I never feel as though I’m talking to her.  It’s the same way I talked to her when I was pregnant.  It’s the same way I talked to Sofia.

In The Secret Garden, Mary asks, “Does everyone who dies become a ghost?”  Archie answers, “They’re only a ghost if someone alive is still holding onto them.”

I think that’s a very wise definition of a ghost.  Ghosts aren’t created because the person who died is sad or lonely or vengeful.  They are created by those who miss them.  Is that really such a bad thing?

I keep telling myself that.  Of course I feel haunted.  I loved someone and lost her.  Of course her ghost remains with me.

We should be grateful to have lived lives that allow us ghosts.  That simply means we have lost people we want to hold onto.  That means that we have had good friends, good family.  That means that we have the ability to love.

Our ghosts are nothing to fear.


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