Sofia would have been two on Sunday. Between work and Anna starting at day care, it was a busy week. I didn’t have much time to stop and think, which is probably a good thing.
As I was heading to my parents’ house on Saturday to do laundry and go to the market, I realized that I’d taken the wrong route. I only had about six dollars, so I meant to stop by an ATM on the way. But I’d driven through town, which doesn’t take me past an ATM. And then I remembered. There’s a twenty in my purse. An acquaintance gave it to me after Sofia died. She told me to tuck it away in my purse for that day, which would surely come, when I needed cash to buy lunch or a cup of cofee. And that’s when I started to cry.*
But that was really the worst of it. Paula and I texted a bit in the evening. She’s been busy, too, and agreed that this year has been eaiser than last year.
Sunday, itself, was a pretty good day. I’d put out word that we’d be having breakfast at Sophia’s in commemoration of Sofia’s anniversary. Several of my parents’ friends were there. (Don’t get me wrong; they’re all lovely people, but they’re also all, you know, my parents’ age.) And some of my friends were there, too. Jess drove across state to join us. (Her daughter got up at one to ask if it was time to leave yet.) Issa and her family came, too, as did Amber. And I know other people (especially Nicki) would have been there if they didn’t already have plans for that day or if they didn’t live too far away.
Anna has a cold (damn day care), and I was exhausted from being up every two hours overnight. My mom stayed the afternoon so that I could have some company. And take a nap. It was really nice to take a nap.
Sunday night was a bit better. Anna slept more than I did. So it was at about 2am that I saw a message from a friend on the West Coast, checking in, saying she was thinking of me. And it was just right. Just what I needed at that moment. Thank you to everyone who messaged me over the weekend. Thank you to Molly for the latest granola iteration (OMG is it good!). For what it was, it was a good day.
I’ll be at Sophia’s on Stadium at around 8:30 on 9/13/16. Maybe I’ll see you there.
*I did not, in fact, need to use this emergency twenty. My mom gave me a loan until I can get to an ATM.